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Cover of Mothers, Sex, And Sexuality

Mothers, Sex, And Sexuality

Written by Michelle Walks,Holly Zwalf,Joani Mortenson

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231 pages, about 5 hours of reading

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About this book

Mothers, Sex, and Sexuality talks about things not normally dared spoken out loud—the interconnectedness and conflict between our parental and sexual selves, the taboo of the sexual mother, and why it matters so much to shatter it. What is it about the sexual mother that is incompatible, and at times even disturbing? Why are we threatened by maternal sexuality? And what does this tell us about the structures of gender and power that govern our bodies? Mothers, Sex, and Sexuality presents a rigorous academic analysis of the myriad ways in which the sexual/maternal divide affects women, birthing people, and those of us who assume or are ascribed the title "mother". We examine the way we as mothers talk to our daughters about sex, the way we talk about sex in a cultural context, and the deafening silence around sex in a medical system that overlooks maternal sexuality. We return repeatedly to the impact of both Christianity and Hinduism on the mother as someone to be revered but tightly controlled. We embrace the lost eroticism of mothering and hail breastfeeding as a sexual maternal practice, arguing for a new, broader, feminist understanding of sexuality. We discuss the way fat mothers destabalise the heteronormative maternal model, the way kinky queers are reconfiguring the sexual/maternal divide through erotic role-play, and we explore the strange, intense, and romantic domestic relationship that springs up between mothers and nannies—two heterosexual women trapped together in a homoerotic triangulation of need and desire. In a titillating climax we revel in the sexual maternal as embodied through performance art, poetry, installations, and comedy, disrupting queer readings of bodies as we are invited to both fuck, and fuck with, the maternal. This book boldly provides both a challenge to the patriarchal constraints of motherhood and a racy road-map escape route out of the sexual-maternal dichotomy.

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Reading guide

Themes, characters and key ideas in Mothers, Sex, And Sexuality, written by Chaptra AI.

  • about 8 hours
  • advanced
  • academic
  • provocative
  • challenging

Mothers, Sex, and Sexuality boldly confronts the pervasive societal taboo surrounding the sexual mother, exploring the deep-seated conflict between women's parental and sexual identities. The book rigorously analyzes how gender and power structures, particularly influenced by Christianity and Hinduism, enforce a strict maternal-sexual divide, often reducing mothers to revered yet desexualized figures. It challenges these patriarchal constraints by advocating for a radical re-evaluation of maternal sexuality, embracing practices like breastfeeding as inherently erotic, and celebrating diverse expressions of motherhood that destabilize heteronormative models. Through academic discourse, cultural critique, and an exploration of performance art, the authors provide both an insightful diagnosis of the problem and a provocative roadmap for liberation from the sexual-maternal dichotomy.

The sexual mother is not merely an anomaly; she is a threat to the very structures of gender and power that govern our bodies.

Key themes

The Taboo of the Sexual Mother
This is the central theme of the book, exploring why society finds the idea of a sexually active mother disturbing or incompatible with her maternal role. It delves into the historical, cultural, and psychological roots of this taboo, analyzing its pervasive influence on women's lives.
Patriarchy and Control of Female Bodies
The book meticulously dissects how patriarchal systems exert control over women's bodies, particularly through the imposition of the maternal-sexual divide. It argues that the desexualization of mothers is a key mechanism for maintaining male dominance and regulating female power.
Reclaiming Maternal Eroticism and Diverse Sexualities
This theme focuses on the book's liberatory project: to re-eroticize motherhood and expand the definition of sexuality to include maternal experiences. It also highlights how non-normative expressions of motherhood challenge and reconfigure traditional boundaries.

Worth discussing

How does the book challenge the traditional societal understanding of motherhood, and why is this challenge considered 'taboo'?

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