Skip to main content
Chaptra
Cover of Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either

Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either

Written by Ian Kerner

5.01 rating

196 pages, about 4 hours of reading

Chaptra reads alongside you — AI insights, chapter breakdowns and reader discussions for every book. Join free

About this book

Avoid the booty call blues and get the love -- and sex -- you deserve! Come on. Admit it. He may not be that into you, but were you ever really that into him? He was never "the one," but you lowered your standards and dated him in the meantime. Why? For any number of reasons: you were lonely, you were horny, you thought dating him was better than being alone, all your friends are getting married -- you name it. And before you knew it, you got hung up on the jerk. Go figure. The world is full of sensational women, but in today's market there are too few good men to go around (or so it appears). Now Dr. Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and author of the smash hit She Comes First, explores the battlefield of sex, hook ups, go-nowhere relationships, and the dismal dating treadmill, simultaneously arming women with a sharper set of insights and the tools for change. With humor and sincerity, Kerner shows women how to break the cycle of dating defeat and use the power of sex to find love, "with a great guy who is into you." So raise your standards -- and reach for the love you deserve!

Read it with a club

Small groups reading the same books and talking as they go.

All clubs
A curved balcony of library shelves

News

  • 1 member
  • 1,813 discussions
  • Active 4h ago

Read Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either alongside people who are reading it too.

Chaptra Prime — paid clubs, every club feature, and unlimited reading support, for $5 a month or $60 once.

See Prime

Reading guide

Themes, characters and key ideas in Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either, written by Chaptra AI.

  • about 8 hours
  • intermediate
  • humorous
  • insightful
  • empowering

Ian Kerner's "Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either" is a self-help guide for women navigating the complexities of modern dating. It challenges the common practice of settling for relationships with men they are not genuinely interested in, often driven by loneliness, societal pressure, or a fear of being alone. Kerner, a clinical sexologist, aims to empower women to break this cycle by raising their standards and strategically leveraging their sexuality to foster deeper connections. The book combines humor and sincerity to provide actionable insights and tools, ultimately guiding women towards finding fulfilling love with partners who truly reciprocate their interest and affection.

He may not be that into you, but were you ever really that into him?

Key themes

Self-Worth and Standards
This is the core theme of the book, emphasizing the critical importance of a woman's self-esteem and her refusal to compromise on her values and desires in a partner. Kerner argues that settling for less often stems from a lack of self-worth or a fear of being alone, and that true fulfillment comes from recognizing one's value and demanding a relationship that reflects it.
Modern Dating Challenges
The book critically examines the contemporary dating environment, highlighting issues such as the perceived scarcity of 'good men,' the prevalence of casual hookups, and the general confusion surrounding relationship expectations. It explores how these factors contribute to women's struggles in finding meaningful connections.
Female Empowerment and Agency
Kerner's ultimate goal is to empower women to take control of their dating lives rather than feeling like passive recipients of male attention. This theme emphasizes making conscious choices, setting boundaries, and actively pursuing the kind of relationship one truly desires, rather than settling out of fear or desperation.

Worth discussing

What are some of the societal pressures that lead women to 'settle' in relationships, as discussed in the book?

Chapter-by-chapter breakdowns, character arcs and the full thematic analysis come with a free account.

Discussions

No one has started one yet

Join

Questions this book opens up

No discussions yet

Be the first to start a discussion about this book!

Sign up to start the discussion

Reviews

No reviews yet

Be the first to review this book!